Bride Price or Bride Wealth as some call it has become a business opportunity in the modern day. Some parents demand too much, you would think they are after ending generational poverty through dowry payments.
Peter Bravin Yuri, a political scientist, takes to social media to raise an alarm on the extortion taking place in the name of bride price or bride wealth.
But what do Kenyan men pay or give to the bride’s parents as token or proof of traditional marriage, Is it dowry or bride price?
According to the political scientist, men pay bride price or bride wealth, whereas dowry is paid by women for men. A culture that is most profoundly for the Indians.
For an exceedingly long time, Kenyans have referred to the bride price as dowry.
Despite payment of bride price being in existence since time memorial, it is to be known that there is no law as to how much a groom should pay.
As such, it is a man’s financial ability and generosity that determines the amount he pays to his bride’s family.
Bride Price Demands
However, in modern society the bride’s parents have made it their responsibility to determine the amount of bride price their daughter should be paid for apart from the traditional must pay token.
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It is not news to have parents of the bride demanding up to Ksh.1 million as bride wealth from their soon to be son-in-law.
Moreover, some parents even go to the extent of asking for compensation for taking their daughter through education as part of the bride price.
Not forgetting the black tax that comes along with being a husband to their daughter, constantly supporting her parents and family.
Also, becoming the go-to person during tough economic times. Despite having the role of taking care of your wife and children.
Nevertheless, the tremendous demands in dowry payment alongside the extra responsibility that come with having a wife has made some men shy away from marriage.
Effects of Commercialized Bride price
Due to the huge amount of bride price men pay, most of them tend to develop an entitlement and thought of ownership of their wives.
They begin viewing their wives as some acquired property rather than a life partner.
This has contributed to gender-based violence in some marriages, infidelity, and crimes of passion, reducing women to victims of broken marriages that they can never walk away from.
While people don’t marry to end up in divorce, parents should make sure that their daughter has bargaining power should there be irreconcilable circumstances between the couples.
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Furthermore, parents are reminded that it is their duty to build a foundation for the future of their daughter.
The husband makes sure the materials to keep building that future are always available by providing, protecting, and taking care of the daughter once they are married.
Additionally, it is encouraged to have the bride’s wealth paid in installments, as this will keep that bond and communication between the wife’s family and husband’s family intact.
Similarly, the Kenyan constitution outlaws the obligation to pay a bride price, but it is widely understood that it will be paid.
However, pastoral communities insist that it is paid in animal form whereas families in other communities will accept cash. There is a sense that a transaction has taken place over the bride.
The payment of bride price has been practiced for centuries in Kenya, and it is still a norm during weddings