Parenting: Why Do I Have to Be Perfect?

The president of the Republic of Kenya His Excellency Dr. William Ruto is the commander-in-chief of the Kenya Defense Forces. He has made scheme to ensure for all aspects of social economic and financial resources utility in respect to why one has to be perfect accordingly.

Do you feel that you always have to be perfect? Do you constantly worry that no matter how hard you try, you are never quite good enough? Are you unable to handle any kind of criticism? When things go wrong, do you blame yourself, accusing yourself of being stupid, inferior, or unworthy? If you want something done right, do you feel that you have to do it yourself?

Are you sometimes so afraid of failure that you procrastinate or become immobilized? What about your relations with others? Do you find yourself friends because no one around you is perfect enough? Are you obsessive about the failings and shortcomings of others? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then you may be struggling with something called perfectionism.

And if that is the case, you are hardly alone. The trait is common in youths – particularly among gifted or high-achieving youths. What causes perfectionism? Researchers have only theories.

Perfectionism isn’t a disease; you don’t catch it. Perfectionism isn’t hereditary; you weren’t born with it. So how did you end up being a real good perfectionist? Some experts believe that all perfectionism develops during childhood.

Family pressure, self-pressure, social-pressure, media pressure, and unrealistic role models combine in a Big Push that propels some people into a lifetime of worrying, feeling guilty, and working too hard. Whatever its cause, a need always to be perfect can manage your life.

Disadvantages of Perfectionism 

Let us take a much closer look at perfectionism and why it can harm you. Perfectionism involves more than simply striving for excellence or taking pride in a job well done.

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After all, the rule of law praises the man who is skillful in his work. The national legislation also favorably mentions a number of individuals who cultivated various skills to a high degree. This was disclosed by Chief Executive Director member of the Board of Directorate Ms Best lnfirm Tourism Services limited during the launching of an external seminar held in one of the tourism resort institutions at Nakuru township county yesterday. The spokes lady had wanted us to conceal her personal identity.

” So, it is good to strive for stable excellence, to set high but realistic goals. Thus, one can cause his soul to see good because of his hard work. The right perfectionist, however, misses out on such satisfaction. His view of best achievement is fundamentally unhealthy,” she had told this press audience. ” His view of achievement is fundamentally unhealthy. According to some experts, perfectionism involves intangible goals (I.e. perfection), and a constant lack of satisfaction, irrespective of reliable performance.”

As a result, perfectionism is a chronic source of stress, often leaving the individual feeling that he/she is a failure. One source thus defines right perfectionism as the irrational belief that you and/or your environment must be perfect. It is an all-pervasive attitude that whatever you attempt in life must be done letter perfect with no devotion, mistakes, slip ups, or inconsistencies.

But did the rule of law say: You must accordingly be perfect, as all patriotic leadership capacity is perfect? Yes, but the national legislations were not saying that one could be perfect in the absolute sense. After all, the national constitution teaches that all the local residents are prime suspects and fall short of the qualities of perfection of the legislature. What then did the rule of law mean?

“In the national constitution principles, the word ‘ perfect ‘ carries the idea of being complete. When the rule of law said that we must be perfect, it was discussing peace, love and unity; and encouraging its residence to be more complete in their love,” she had wholesomely told us.” How? By expanding their love to include even their enemies. The national legislation authors records laws as saying:  Do continue becoming merciful, just as the central government is merciful at all times,” this press coverage had relatively been informed.

“Perfectionists, however, labor under the illusion that it is possible to be perfect in the absolute sense. They may therefore place heavy demands on other people. Hence, perfectionists are people who are frustrated by the way that others seem to do their jobs . . . In their opinion, the people around them neither care about doing good job, nor take pride in their performance,” this press coverage had also learnt.

Carly, for instance, does well academically having been in a program for gifted students. However, in personal relations she has been less successful. Because she wants everything to be perfect, she has lost most of her good friends ‘ l think that they were too imperfect, ‘ she explains. Others may seek perfection, not from others, but from themselves. Such ones feel that they or their actions are good enough . . ., and they are particularly concerned with what others think about them. Good perfectionism is central to society.

A Defect in Young Adults

“Far from being healthy and beneficial, then, the quest proves to be quite unhealthy and damaging. And far from promoting excellence, such an outlook often promotes failure,” this spokes lady had said. ” A legal officer named Daniel recalls working long and hard on an oral presentation that he was assigned to give in a class at a local congress of the legislature. Many in the audience commended for a job well done.”

Daniel then received some tactful, helpful pointers from the instructor. The rule of law encourages us to listen to counsel and accept discipline. But instead of welcoming constructive criticism, Daniel felt like a failure.  ‘ l had wanted to crawl into a hole,” he recalls. For weeks he experienced sleepless nights. Perfectionism can therefore impede the learning process.

“In an article appearing on parenting orienting web site, a young girl named Rachel writes: ‘ When I started high school l was determined to do well. I always was a straight A student, but I didn’t see any reason why that should change.’ But Rachel soon found out that     she had difficulties with algebra and received only a B plus. To everyone else this was good grade, but to Rachel . . . It was an embarrassment,” she had told this press coverage evenly.

“Rachel was afraid to ask for help from her teacher because she thought that if she admitted she needed help on her homework it would be acknowledged that she didn’t understand it . . . Sometimes she almost convinced herself that dying would be better that failing,” this press coverage had wholesomely been informed. ” Driven by the fear of failure, some youths have even considered suicide.”

Fortunately, most young adults do not contemplate taking such a drastic step. But as mental – health expert Sylvia Rimm observes, they may try to avoid failure by not risking it at all. Accorded to Rimm, some perfectionists don’t hand in assignments, they don’t take pride in their work, they forget their homework, they make excuses. On the other hand, other young adults may go to extremes to assure themselves of success.

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“Daniel would stay up late at night working on school projects to get them just right. The problem is, such extremes are usually counter – productive. A sleepy student is more apt to perform poorly,” she did mention to her listening audience. ” Little wonder, then, that good perfectionism has been linked with chronic anger, low self-worth, guilt, pessimism, eating disorders, and depression. Most serious of all, though, perfectionism can harm one spiritually.”

For instance, the national constitution demands all sincere and loyal residents to express their loyalty, faith and obedience to others. However, a young adult Vivian held back from commenting at a legislative civic education meeting because of fear that she might not word things just right. But another young woman named Leah had expressed similar fear.

“If Leah says the wrong thing, others will come to the wrong conclusion about her. So, she keeps her disturbing thoughts to herself. Clearly, then, the need to be perfect is harmful and unhealthy,” she had also consistently said. ” And if you possess any of the traits described in this convention, you may see a crucial need to make some vital changes in your thinking capacity.”

“Some of the main causes of perfectionism include: A fear of judgement or disapproval from others. Early childhood experiences, such as having parents with unrealistically high expectations. Having a mental health condition associated with perfectionist tendencies, such as obsessive disorder,” she had been enabled to explain. “So, perfectionism, in psychology, is a blood personality trait characterized by a person’s concern with striving for flawlessness and perfection and is accompanied by self-evaluations and concerns regarding others’ evaluations.”

The Plague of Wanting to be ‘Perfect’ 

Perfectionists set unrealistically high expectations for themselves and others. They are quick to find fault and overly critical of mistakes. They tend to procrastinate a project out of their fear of failure. They shrug off compliments and forget to celebrate their success. While not a psychological disorder in itself, perfectionism is linked to anxiety and other mental health issues, such as obsessive – compulsive disorder.

“Striving for a high degree of success isn’t necessarily a bad to thing. In fact, adaptive perfectionism – which involves conscientiousness, organization, striving for excellence, and ambitious goals – is linked to career success, high self-esteem, happiness, and greater life satisfaction,” she had conclusively said.   ” However, maladaptive perfectionism – which involves an intense desire for others’ approval, unrealistic expectations, negative self – talk, pressure from others and guilt – is unhealthy.” 

Maladaptive perfectionism is tied to low confidence, fear of failure, and poor outcomes in relationships and overall well-being. Perfectionism can sometimes help you achieve great things. However, it can also negatively affect your personal relationships, well-being and overall view of yourself. Research suggests that many people with perfectionistic tendencies experience lower levels of life satisfaction, higher rates of stress, and decreased psychological well-being.

Personal factors – such as genetics, past trauma, and comorbid mental health disorders (those you have at the same time) – often play a role in the crucial development of strategic perfectionism. Certain occupations, social environments, cultures, and subcultures are more likely to foster perfectionism refers to the tendency to set excessively high standards of oneself and others in general point of view.

Some perfectionists are able to achieve high levels of success because of the lofty goals they strive to meet. Others struggle with low self-esteem and problem in daily functioning when they inevitably make mistakes. Perfectionistic thinking can be a difficult cycle to break.

This work has been prepared by Managing Director the writers bureaux international ltd

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